Saturday, March 2, 2013

~ My Children, My Paradise ~

Dear Diary,

How long it's been - I know, I keep saying that - but really, how long it's been! My posts would cover Mehreen's cute little developments and now with the Grace of God, I am blessed with another child; my baby boy Imaad. :) It's been a blissful time of 3 months and I feel in love, in total awe with this cute little bundle of joy!

The moment Imaad was born, Mehreen grew up as a big sister. (She is 2 years old now) She seemed suddenly bigger and it's funny how that naturally occurs - how the process of an additional sibling added to the household, can make the first child instantaneously look way more mature than they actually are. Mehreen is our Princess; she looks like a doll with her curly hair and her love for life. Her naughtiness and that little twinkle in her eye, gives away the next 'masti-bhari sharaarat' (transl: deviant naughtiness). She is a super fast runner and sometimes I wonder whether she will join the Olympics one day with the speed that she's been gifted with. I am not kidding; the kid can run!

Here's a pic of Mehreen standing in the NICU of the hospital where Imaad was admitted for a couple of days. Look at that smile...and believe me, she wasn't being 'picture-ready' for me when I ordered her to stand in front of the mini fireplace. However, her attitude changed immediately, the moment this friendly nurse   offered to take Mehreen's pic. Mehreen started posing! OMG...

I am always sharing my feelings and pictures on Facebook & Twitter, but everything seems so scattered in this digital world, so it's about time I share my feelings and happenings at home, on this platform. I read some of my earlier posts and I'm reminded of the time I wrote them, what was going on in life then and how life is NOW. It's such a blessing to be able to comprehend, acknowledge and cherish your blessings; to point your finger at the very thought or desire you HAD and it's a dream come true for you to HAVE now. I see it as that. I know getting married and having kids may be the natural course of life, but I find it truly extraordinary. I am privileged to stay at home and care for my lovely kids whom I love so very much. They make my every day worthwhile, even with all the exhaustion and the repetitiveness of the days. I always say, this is my best career. And when I am thinking along those lines, thanking Allah for all the amazing things He has blessed us with, I start traveling in my past where I did have a job, the time before marriage where I would be stuck in traffic, running to work to make it on time...those times. They were nice, but not being stuck in traffic and not to worry about financial burdens that we all so easily accumulate - you know, the worldliness of it all - makes me happy to have retired from that life for now. I like the four walls of my abode where I can be clumsy, mommy-ish...where my everyday of waking up consists of organized thoughts of what to do next. Of which kid to take care of next; who is ready? who needs to eat? how about my next feeding for Imaad? A lot of thinking and a lot to do of course, but this 'job' gives me the kind of fulfillment and joy that can never be derived from the worldly accomplishments.

There is so much to GIVE, so much of yourself that sometimes this devotion to your own creation that cries, poops, smiles at you and is 100% reliable on your existence, I believe, that alone can be pretty demanding. You start thinking and comparing the way you were before kids and what on earth you were doing then, haha! And then you look at yourself, the body you've changed into and the very woman you've become; the girlishness of ME of Naila is still there but the woman-ness of ME, the warmth, the care, the nurturing is far more visible. And it's okay. It really is. I love the ME now as I loved her before, but I look at this exterior and I'm amazed how far we've become in my 30 years of living. How incredible the body has been to my existence of producing 'life' on earth. I am truly amazed to see the biology of it, how the science of it takes place in an organ called the uterus, and how the tiniest speck grows into a beautiful baby that is created by our God. He alone puts us on earth and truly to Him we belong.

My children, my Paradise - mashAllah: