I struck upon a conversation with my co-worker today whom I've come to admire. We were talking about our level of maturity and understanding of life, thus becoming wise beyond our age. Is it the pitfalls that make us touch rock bottom or is it just our perception of seeing things differently than the rest of our age group? Are we too damn serious or just seriously involved in our lives?
The past is like a closed chapter of a book to me, whenever necessary I may take a look and see how the story evolved in either becoming dramatic or immensely boring and sometimes superbly exciting. The present is sculpting towards a future, a future that I am molding in my thoughts and is beautifully and sometimes painfully in creation with the very true and hard realities of life.
The truth behind an individual can not be measured by the very first look, neither can anyone be judged by their materialistic 'wear'. It may all be an illusion of happiness and satisfaction, whereas in truth it's just a mere facade to keep up with the image and avoid the realities of life. Pain.....suffering....and "lessons learned" are just a part of growing up. Are we really too weak in confronting the lies behind this big monster of show and perfection? Is this society really built on pretense and superficiality and those who succeed in doing so, easily move forward in life? Are we a part of the game, the dirt we dig up so eagerly and later on deny to play in it ourselves? Hypocrisy, jealousy, the fear of failure and rejection are beginning to creep up on us like a second nature. We are interesting species. In denial of our own existence and whenever we need someone to pinch us in the arm to make sure whether we are alive or not, we start looking down on someone else, trying to heal the wound temporarily by finding miserable, unaccomplished fellow beings while boosting self-confidence.
Wow....bravo....drugs is often the core problem to many societal problems, but the 'drug' of psychological depreciation for oneself and others will surely make the house fall apart. It will ruin generations to come with fiercer competition and the greed to measure every single thing with money... and the heart....well what's the heart worth anymore? Are there true feelings left in this world? With every bad intention, or bad wish that is granted upon someone at the tearful breaking of a relationship or a deliberated unfairness amongst friends, this vibe is spread out and will bounce back twice as hard leaving question marks to never be answered.
Where are the true commitments I ask, the loyalties of men to women and vice versa...the sweetness of enduring pain, struggles, happiness with one and other and making it all worthwhile for the sake of life? A life that is lived in its simplicity of breathing, eating, sleeping, praying, finding camaraderie and perhaps true love. The same simplicity that our grand parents used to live with or our late ancestors when planting a seed of life, never imagining the turmoil of today...the complexity of living that is visible on every person's forehead.
We have either fallen way back into the gutter or we have given ourselves the credit to advance and be excused of all the normalcy and simplicity that would structure society in the past, whereas now it is seen as a mediocre pursuit/lifestyle. The horse rides that served as transportation in the times when we weren't even born or the black and white colored television sets must have been great pleasures to those who were content with what they had...
Those years were wiser, much more trustworthier and unique in their very own way. My perception of today's life is still the beauty I behold within my imagination, but it can never match the golden years of innocence when kids were kids playing in the mud and moms were sweet moms baking cookies with their aprons on, where the obvious care of the household would fall on the mother's lap and the fathers would earn the bread. In today's society I have seen way too many girls, young moms struggling to make ends meet, trying to provide for their babies whilst suppressing their womanly emotions under the fake persuasion of "todays independent woman".
An independent woman can never be fully independent with the burden of finances, children and health issues, unless the three are solved through hard work or sheer luck, nothing and I repeat nothing can be done to lessen their heavy burden. They will do their shifts, try not to get sick, go home and take care of their family for the rest of their lives, knowing that they can't afford luxury when life's purpose is to pay bills and survive. This is society....the society that I have witnessed and have many times questioned to myself.
I find my reflection in the streams of water awfully wise beyond it's depth, yet fresh to its fascination with a insatiable zest for life. I now understand the 'wrinkles' to one's face; they're layers of living, undoable of erasing...or else we'd be wiping off wisdom in all its entirety.
My thoughts are floating.