Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I was pondering how our deeds affect us as a person in whole. Deeds are derived from our intentions and so, our intentions are created from the heart which signals the mind. Now, deeds are the actions we perform; they aren't the mere words playing in our minds or resting on our tongue. They are the actual performances.

The heavily emphasis on deeds is preached in every religion. The wrong you do, the less fortunate you are. The better you do, the most fortunate & harmonious your life will be. It plays like a law of attraction towards what you want and is in perfect parallel from your actions and your thoughts. If I were to make a diagram on here, it would have a straight line indicating the thoughts vs the deeds in alliance of each other, that is if you are clear of your thoughts.
In a perfect world, it would be a straight line, but the truth to the matter is that thoughts aren't always supporting one's actions or vice versa. Since deeds (actions) speak louder than words, we are always judged on what we do or have done, instead of what is in our hearts.

The woman for instance, always struggles with her thought process, trying to either mend it or compromise it into the more 'acceptable thought' of her man, where her thoughts can easily become reality. Even without a man in our lives, aren't we always compromising our thoughts when reality surfaces behind us? How many times have we desired to have something or fulfill our dreams, when suddenly reality would wake us up? I am sure everyone has.
The deeds that follow our thoughts become important to how we form our lives. I have seen the patience, the endurance in myself...when I am wanting to have something, but I hold onto my thought and convert it into good intentions, knowing that one day if I hold on to the nature of the thought, it will become reality.

The very same happened when purchasing our home. I had a beautiful house in mind, where I could see my children grow up in, where I could see myself cooking in a beautiful kitchen with spacious counters and a backyard that I could call my second home, in where I could sit back, relax and sip a cup of tea. Those thoughts, those dreams I had. Not just dreams of *POOF*, and gone is my dream, but dreams of tangible living, of knowing that some day I'll be there, living the life I am dreaming.

With God's grace, my intentions, my thoughts combined with the hard work, paid off. Now, I cook in the kitchen I had imagined, I sit back in the backyard I so often dreamt of, and I see my husband walking towards the front door when coming home from a long day of work, knowing that he is a proud man walking humbly and carefully in the journey of life. Visions that are engraved in our minds and we are determined to accomplish with the blessings of God.

The idea of deeds vs thoughts, takes me to a not-so-pleasant experience I had with someone who isn't yet so close to me, but belongs to the family. A "someone" whose entry hasn't officially been made yet, but who has had in a few encounters, made me feel very unworthy with the lack of respect this particular person has shown. Now, my thoughts are registering the deeds that person is treating me with, but my intentions are staying clear from making any hasty judgments. Why? Because I know that my thoughts can be derived from unclear emotions, such as the lack of respect I am feeling, but I am smart enough to realize how sensitive "family" is, therefore my intentions towards this person are clear and will always be.
It is very hard to stay that way; to not fall into the hole of judgments, negative remarks and "bitchiness". Even though, the unfairness exists, my deeds are accountable for what I do and have a heavy affect on my household. I know my intention is what is reflected upon me and God knows...God knows.

Do you think in today's Day and Age one really stands still to think of their actions as deeds? Or just goes by living his/her life as it is, without the concept that someone might get hurt by the actions you put out there? The lack of consideration is so obvious, but when the convenience arises, they become the sweetest, the most welcoming.
I find that very sad. In our language its called "challaaki" ( being sly). To be clever for only oneself at the time of presentation for the sake of getting 'worldly' credit, is to me total selfishness. There were times when people said to me how simple /naive I was and that it was time for me to grow up and be clever.

Many times I've heard such a thing, where I am too naive to understand the "wrong" people have intended towards me, but do you really think that my naivety is foolish? Do you really think that I am not aware of their wrongdoings or intentions? I am, but I choose to think the best, I choose to do the best. It is very easy to become a bitch, but it is really hard to maintain your sanity, believe in goodness and live your life as peacefully you can, filtering out the bad and silencing it with your heart. I know that my life is not dependent on the person's actions. Yes, I do what I think is right; I fulfill my duties and take care of my responsibilities as a wife, daughter in law and sister. Beyond that, I have no control over what happens or the injustice that is done.

So why beat oneself over deeds committed by others, whom have no remorse or don't even think twice when acting sly and degrading you? They may be clever not to show, but I am smart not to over think. Life is too short and time is of the essence for me to embrace great people and make new & fun challenges.

Our deeds, one by one, step by step are truly a reflection of what we have built...
...Our very homes. :)

*This blog post is in dedication to my cousin Amina who lives in California. She taught me a lot about patience and endurance within marriage. Even though she is far away, I know that her wisdom is greater than she acknowledges. Love you!

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