Friday, November 14, 2008

A New Perspective

My last post was written this morning when I felt down about myself as all the tiredness finally bursted out into frustration that has been building up or maybe everything was just blown into proportion due to my crazy hormones. Nevertheless, I finally realized that I am doing this to myself. No one other than myself can make me feel this way, unless I am in control of my own happiness and self-confidence.

It's true that as woman I need the reassurance, the 'pat in the back' so now and then, but more than that...I know that my strength and the very positive outlook in life (that I carry everyday, I may not have shown it to you dear diary, ha ha!) is important to take me very far. To a destination I will be happy with. More so, my pain was derived from the love I have for my household and I know that my home is my destination, but lately the emotions have gotten a hold of me. The insecurities of who I am, the confusion that lies in my identity, my persona, was playing games with my mind. I am the queen of my home; my haven and my Paradise.

I am the most important ingredient to this recipe of 'Domestic Bliss' and the chef, the creator behind this incredible meal is God Himself. I have given Him my attention, I have poured out my feelings to Him and he has been so Gracious.
I look around from where I am sitting and see all the blessings. I see the blessings in the form of my loving husband, I see the blessings in the form of my beautiful house and I surely see blessings in the journey of life that I'll have to embrace WITH the ups and downs. I can not let myself become the 'doormat' by self-depreciating my intelligence and what I am capable of.

I am an artist. I play the colors out in my mind and bring them onto the canvas.

I am an actor. I take my role seriously and transfer into characters, that are, mind you, award winning! :)

I am a writer. My pen (keyboard) writes my feelings, my inner expressions. The words feed me, like prayer does and I feel relieved.

I am a lover. People, such as close family and friends who see the best in me, even when I don't, give me motivation and show their love as a reflection of mine.

I am a giver. I love to share and give. At times, I may not be rewarded for it, but I have realized the gift of 'giving', is the gift of silence and humility. Patience is truly a virtue.

I am a performer. Presenting my talents in front of the world and sharing new innovative ideas, open up exciting worlds for me. Luckily, I have people around me who understand my visions and have faith in it.

And most importantly...

I am a wife. Who loves marriage, the safety of the strong arms of a man and his practical/planned approach towards life. Knowing that we are for each other, making new memories, entering new phases and growing as a couple.
Which reminds me, speaking of growing, we should take it easy when it comes to growing in size. ;)

Awww, hubby dear just walked in with a box of chocolates for me.
Forget what I wrote.
It's all good.


Anonymous said...

love this post.may u always b dis happy and positive in life.let Allah guide and u should follow. Love, ur sis

Anonymous said...

Hi, I just wanted to say women do need a pat in the back once in a while & they really do deserve it. A woman is a glue that holds a family together. We are housewives, career women & mothers to our next generation. The key is to not look for feedback from people you are never going it from.
Marriage is not a piece of cake, it comes with it's own obstacle course. These obstacles either break a marriage or make it much stronger. Our hormones go crazier then men's. I might be freaking out at a situation, and my hubby will be so calm & relaxed and will say everything will be fine. Sometimes I think his calmness and reassurance keeps me saNe. It's ok to feel down sometimes this reassures that we are human not robots.
Let me give you a pat in the back for doing such a good job with everything. Stay positive, may Allah bless you in everything you do.

Naila said...

Thank you very much! :)
It's great to know that there is someone out there who understands my feelings...

Am stayin' positive. ;)